July 20th, 1995 - Monks in the bleachers!

July 20th, 1995 - Yankees host the KC Royals
Rod Scurry Night! Asian Elvis! Mike the Bartender!

Ah, good old Rod Scurry night. You may remember the eponymous relief pitcher who even logged some Yankee time, who later died in a drug induced rampage, flipping around on someones lawn screaming that he was covered by snakes. Oh, those zany relief pitchers! Well, there was a crew of rowdy fans on hand that night, promising Rod Scurry night would continue every year on July 20th, and I did indeed spot them carrying on thier show in future years, though I imagine its fizzled out. They kept yelling about snakes and held up a sign with Scurry's visage. No one seemed to get it but me. As I type this I figure few will get it outside of me. In memory of Mr Scurry I drew a nice cartoon pic of his face on the scorecard, rife with bushy Olde Tyme bartender-that-sells-sasparilla mustache, and a stick figure running for his life with some stick snakes on his heels. What beats Rod Scurry night?

But Scurry aside, we never forget our own, however, and we took time to note that Fat Daddy Chico's birthday was the next day, and subsequently to "watch your wallets." Hey, this is no joke here - anyone remember some of the crazy crap Chico used to do? He had poloroids of himself cavorting with a naked woman in a hotel and he used to flash them around like a proud old lady showing off her grandkids. Many of us have the unfortunate shot of a naked Chico laying splayed on a dirty hotel bed burned in our minds forever...our fat and jolly friend also had a bellybutton ring on around this time he would show off without prompting and that also made this scorecard.

The Royals were on hand, and in tje throes of welcome one lucky fan actually dropped his Yankee cap over the fence screaming at Kevin Appier during BP. Or, as I wrote, screaming at Kevin APE-ier. No word on if said lid was retreived, but if it was Im sure it wasnt by the bombarded Appier. We also had a good time exchanging witty banter with Yankee pitching coach Nardi Contreras, or as most people knew him, "the Spanish guy." Some effiminate guy sang the National Anthem on this night, and was promptly dubbed "former male vocalist" on the scorecard.

This game was like a matter of days after the infamous Blackjack McDowell middle finger incident...talk out in the bleachers was how McDowell was set to be booed for sure, at least "until he strikes out the side in the first next time out." I remember taping on my closet the backpage of one of the locals that showed McDowell with finger hoisted high, and the heading JACK ASS.

We were having our fun with Crapman the vendor, calling him over and expressing our interest in purchasing "the big blue condom" which they in actuality pass off as a big blue rubberized bat. Some chubby guy wearing what appeared to be a brown robe ensemble ambled up and was asked respectfully, "yo, Mr. Tuck, where's Robin Hood tonight?" It was only moments later another 4 or 5 guys also dressed like monks paraded up the stairs. Turns out they were a real order of monks or something....although someone in the section joked, "they're not monks, those are Jedi Knights." Um, are monks even allowed to go to baseball games?

What was really funny is one of these monks actually ended up dropping a home run ball off the bat of Don Mattingly later in the game. "If that was bread from the sky you would have caught it" someone joked.

Another lookalike who got some heat was a fat Asian Elvis lookalike, whom we asked to sing "Jailhouse Wok" for us. Speaking with Metssuckballs, they recently had an "Asian Elvis" out there 15 years later here in 2010, and they sang to him, the songs "Ruv Me Tender", "Riva Ras Vegas", and "Are you Ronesome Tonight"

It was simply an oddball night. Queen Bee Tina even had to fight for her own seat, yet alone having to worry about saving seats for us, which she did with a furious fervor. Looking at the attendance figure, its a shock she had to fight for seats during this affair.

There were some dumb fans on hand. One of them, speaking of Joe DiMaggio, actually compared him to George Brett. "I think he was as good as Brett." he said. Ya think??? This was the kind of fan we had in mind when someone mentioned that night that the bleachers were full of the "physically challenged, economically challenged, and for the most part mentally challenged."

Howard the anti-comic, everyones least favorite actual lawyer, was on hand, boring us with his boring stories. I remember around this time I was actually asking him for legal advice concerning a car wreck lawsuit I had hanging over my head, but he was not really interested, as he was too busy telling unfunny jokes and boring stories. He is one of the reasons I had my license pulled and no longer drive.

Looking back, on a maudlin note, I mentioned that "Mike the bartender" from Down the Hatch was on hand, complete with a pack of sluts from the bar. And they were all sucking lollipops. I think this is why Tina lost her seat, no one would hold it for her with these tarts on hand. Its sad cause I remember Mike being out there and having a hoot, and I think about how he passed away a few years back, from Cancer. He was a great guy and put up with a lot of my crap during those all-day drinkathons at the Hatch. I remember calling him at the bar early on Saturday mornings and asking if I was "allowed back in yet" and him telling me "just give it another week."

We were having fun out there. I led the hooting and hollering at the grounds crew, leading one of them to shout up at us from behind the fence "please...we're trying to work over here." Inane discussions of the sort we made part of our ritual were taking place, including the observation that Tommy Lee Jones and Gene Hackmen were collectively "in every single movie ever made." But to cap it all off, there was a huge bleacher brawl out there in the 6th inning, which also featured two LONG Yankee home runs.

The Yankees won a wild one, 8-4, behind the power bats. Mattingly went deep in the 4th and a monk dropped it, then Bernie and Stanley went back to back in the 6th, with Bernie's apparently landing in the black according to this scorecard. The struggling Mattingly actually had a flashback and a good night, going 3-5, scoring 3 times and driving in a deuce. The Yankees mustered 11 hits, and after driving Appier out of there really laid a licking on Billy Brewer, who vave up 4 runs on 4 hits and two jacks in absolutely ZERO innings of work.

The Yankee lineup that did the damage was LF Polonia, 3B Boggs, DH James, RF O'Neill, 1B Mattingly, CF Bernie, C Stanley, SS Fernandez, and 2B Kelly. None of these fu*king lineups look anything like the same game to game. On the Yankee hill the beneficiary should have been Scott Kamienieki but he pitched himself out of the game by the 6th and Steve Howe swooped in for the win, while Bob Wickman wrapped up.

For the Royals we saw a lineup of 2B Lockhart, CF Goodwin, 1B Joyner, DH "Ham" Hamelin, 3B Gaetti, RF Jon Nunnally (lol), SS Gagne, LF David Howard, and C Brett Mayne. After Appier and Brewer got rocked Hippo Pichardo and Rusty Meacham wrapped things up for KC on this losing effort. Royal star of the game, and this games profile, was Nunnally, who went 3-3 and drove in 3 of the 4 KC runs.

I used to be a fan of Mr. Nunnally, at least until he ended up wearing a Red Sox and a Met uniform. His career stretched in spurts from 95-2000, where he notched a .246 average with 42 jacks and 125 RBIs in 885 at bats spread over 364 games. Stole 19 bases over the course of things, but was nailed 12 times. He looked like a player in his debut year, this year of 1995, when he hit 14 home runs and drove in 42 in 119 games (303 at bats) - he never did notch that many at bats or have that success in a season. Aside from the Royals, Mets and Red Sox he also spent some time in a Cincy Reds uniform. He actually was traded to the Mets for the world famous Jermaine Allensworth.

A 3rd round draft pick by the Indians in 1992, Nunnally was born in 1971 and surprisingly enough not a college product. He ended up playing in Japan, bless him. Hell, he may never have left. I liked him, but also enjoyed yelling at him over the fence cause, well, he sucked.

There were 17,061 on hand on this Thursday night, to see the game played in 3:15. Your umpires on hand were once again Dan Morrison, Al Clark, Larry Barnett, and Gregory Kosc.

Thanks for reading!