July 26th, 1994...Yankees host the Red Sox
"what the fu*k you want, you Brady Bunch asshole!"
Ah, the day after my 26th birthday. Do the math. By my shaky scrawl on here, and the fact I wrote "the day after" in dramatic fashion, this is one of those days I would have been better off staying home, but showed up just to show everyone I was indeed still alive and survived another birthday. And every time I did, someone lost money.
As we settled in for the night we saw what appeared to be a bodybuilder sort from the box seats arging with someone in bleacher section 37. When the banter got heated and we were really egging it on, the guy pulled offf his shirt and started making Hulk Hogan poses out in box seat. Um..he was no bodybuilder. "How bout that." someone said. "Muscular to fat in seconds."
Speaking of fat, Fat Daddy Chico was peddling his sketchy home run and attendance pools when he was officially noted by a representive from our section, "Chico, you have just been declared the 6th borough of New York City. Congratulations."
Around this time Chico was under heavy artillery fire for all his scamming. It usually revolved around his collecting for the home run pool, and not returning the money when there were no Yankee taters on the day. It was never actually explained but apparently that was part of the deal. On top of that, we speculated that his shady pools that kept him rolling in pizza dough went back to the Polo Grounds, when he would sucker middle aged men out of their derby hats. Even Queen Bee Tina was mad at him on this Tuesday night, grousing repeatedly. "Hey Chico, even Tartabull wants his money back from you!" someone that was shorted hollered.
But tonight the controversy stemmed from Chico once again winning his own attendance pool. He always managed to pull that one - its a wonder people simply did not take the list from him once he wrote it and monitor things their own selves or at least note Chico's pick, but the past is the past. After the attendance was announced and word of Chico's victory in his own pool made the rounds, it was on. "You fat thief!" someone screamed. "Give us your money back...you eat like a pig!" someone else hollered.
There were a few of the regular tally of dopes walking around on that evening. This was back in the day where Boston fans were ready and willing to fight us, as we did not have much of a gang out there and sometimes it was US that were outnumbered. In fact, when some thimble of a Yankee fan gave a Sox fan heat while he strolled up the steps, the Red Sox fan barked, "what the fu*k you want, you Brady Bunch asshole!"
Some girl was trying to eat a hot dog in peace and my friend Brian was watching in the perverted sense. "Oh yeah...eat that hot dog. Ohhh boy." he slobbered and gushed. While this was going on I observed "my beer smells."
Someone was wearing some sort of funny hat and I snapped off "nice hat" and this guy Dennis jumped in and added, "that's not a hat, that's a lamp." Dennis had come in late, while the Yankees were enjoying a 5 run first inning. Of course the second he walked in Pat Kelly grounded out to second to end it.
We were chatting about what else was going on around the sports world, such as the Cosmos (lol) winning something big and the Mets losing the day before, as they were wont to do. "I didnt even see the Mets score since the paper moved them to the classifieds" someone mused. We also ate up some time discussing a fistfight that recently sparked on Phil Donahue's show that was in the news. We also recalled that when the Yankees got that last out and finally won that 78 playoff game, they had 9 white guys on the actual field of play.
We heard it being bandied that it was some girls birthday out there and someone actually turned around to her and said loud enough for just about everyone to hear, "Happy birthday, dear fat girl." "Hey, check it out" someone pointed out, "the evil scientist from Bugs Bunny is here."
A Red Sox hat started flying around the section in the 5th....I missed it as I was in the bathroom getting rid of yet more beer. It ended up in some ejections. Security Saddam took the role of "upper deck spy" for the rest of the night, peering at us over the upper deck at regular intervals, chatting into his high-tech walkie-talkie as we laughed at him.
Through it all, only 2 "mos" - Ho-Mo Vaughn leading off the 5th inning, and Pat Kelly leading off the Yankees 6th. As you can see, getting back to business after the between-innings zany capers was the bane of my existence.
The game itself was pretty much a joke. The Yankees opened up a 5-0 lead after 1, but it was 5-4 by the time the bottom of the 4th rolled around. The Sox then threw up 4 of their own in the 6th, and another 2 in the 9th which rendered the Yankees own 2 in the bottom of that inning moot, and the final score was Boston 10, Yankees 7.
Jimmy Key was blasted again. He was sputtering around this point, 15-3 record and all. 11 hits in 5.1, 6 runs on the ledger. He also uncharacteristically walked 3. Xavier Hernandez came in "to close the 6th" and he was tattered. Everyones favorite, Joe Ausanio, came in to get racked around a bit, and it took that nerd Paul Gibson to stop the bleeding.
As for the bats, BW, Tartabull, Stanley and Leyritz all had 2 hits for the Yankees, and Gallego drove in 3 runs. Nokes had the only Yankee home run, a 2 run shot in the 9th off old friend Steve how "Farr" will they hit it. The Yankee lineup at the start read CF BW, 1B Mattingly, LF O'Neill, RF Tartball (who we called "cottage cheese arm" on this night) C Stanley, DH Leyritz, 3B Velarde (where the Hell was Boggs!!) SS Gallego, and 2B Kelly.
Vaughn went 4-5 for the Sox with 2 runs, 4 BI's, and a long jack off of X Hernandez. Tim Naehring (who went on to become a suit in various farm systems) hit a homer and drove in 2, and Damon Berryhill and Wes Chamberlin of all people also drove in a couple of runs. "Ugly Otis" Nixon played tablesetter in his pesky, annoying fashion, going 3-5 while hearing it from us all night. The Sox showed a lineup of CF Nixon, 2B Naehring, SS Valentin, 1B Vaughn, RF Brunansky, LF Greenwell, DH Chamberlin, 3B Scott Cooper, and C Berryhill.
Chris Nabholz actually started for Boston, and settled in after being torched for 5 in the first and got out of there after 5 with only those runs on the ledger. Following him on the Sox hill were one Chris Howard, Scotty Bankhead, Tony Fossas (who was 36 then and hung around forever afterwards), Steve Farr (in his last major league season) and Ken Ryan.
Ah, to profile. How bout Chris Howard? In 95 he actually got into 37 games, situational, managing 39 innings. Pitched well, marking down a 3.63 ERA in 95, and giving up no runs in a 1993 stint with the White Sox and a 1995 stint with the Rangers totalling another piddly 6 innings. All in all he threw 46 innings in the majors, to a sharp 3.13 ERA, walking 16 and striking out 22. I wonder what happened to him. I can tell you this - he was originally signed by the Yankees as an undrafted free agent in the year I graduated high school, 1986. On August 31st, 1995 he was swapped for a former "Scorecard Memory Profile" subject Jack Voight. Born in 65, he was a product of the University of Miami, who count Pat Burrell, Aubrey Huff, Mike Pagliarulo, and Jay Tessmer as some of their alum. Either way, I am proud to say I saw this guy pitch!
As for the night of the 26th (only one more card to go before the strike hit and 94 is in the books) 38,448 were on hand in the Bronx (Chico probably "came up with" 38,447 in the attendance pool) in a long 3:56 and your umpires on hand were the late Durwood Merrill, Mike Reilly, Tim Welke, and Joe Brinkman.
Thanks for reading yo!
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