May 5th, 1995 - "one doo-dah, doo-dah too many."

May 5th, 1995 - Yankees host the Red Sox
Tina on the warpath

Well, back in business. The regular umpires were back on the job after a squabble with MLB, so no more Mike Riggers, Joe Padilla, Dick Jackson, and Terry Boveys. I had missed the middle 2 affairs constituting this 4 game set, probably nursing quite the headache from my first Yankee game in 9 months earlier in the week.

I knew this was going to be a funny one on the way up as someone stormed the mic hookup in the conductors booth on the subway train in and started chanting, "Boston sucks! Boston sucks!" I love NY. Once inside a friend of mine from home promptly dropped a home run ball during BP and spent the rest of the game muttering over it.

Lots of animosity during this game, set to a backdrop of weepy rain. "ooooh, pretty rain" someone sarcastically cracked as I tried frantically to keep the scorecard dry. "We need Moses to part the infield. " someone else cracked. I go downstairs to wring out and people were washing their muddy hands in the water fountains, of all places.

Some interesting times are marked for posterity, including "guy hit a woman - 7:52." Again, I love NY. I marked the first Sox fan sighting at 6:52, which is actually kind of late as I was in for BP, and old Ali's first cowbell 3 minutes later at 6:55...well over 30 minutes before the first pitch. Crowd would get fired up early in them there days.

Queen Bee Tina was on one of her rampages. What initially piqued her ire was a bucketful of condoms that had made its way out there, and condom balloons were floating lazily around in between the raindrops. Tina was absolutely beside herself, trying to pull them out of the air to pop them. She managed to corral one and pop it, and was met with chants of "Virgin!" and "Asshole!" for her harried efforts.

She also took umbrage at the wave, rightfully so! A group of yahoos dotting the small crowd of 18,994 were enjoying the stylings of a wave creeping through the area a bit too much, and Tina stomped down to their row and screamed, "we don't do the wave here, faggots!" Oh, was she on on this night. I also have her marked as getting into a fight with a guy that got really ugly...as she was in his face the guys friend grabbed her from behind, and she was ready to flash dukes with him. Security ambled over and took the 2 guys out, another small victory for Tina, who always (and still does) had the run of the place.

I was having problems of my own. "Queen Latifah" on security was convinced I had snuck beer in...no remembrance if I did or not, but i mentioned on here she was on my case, and I was summarily warned and consistently eyeballed.

This was the game I still cite, where we cracked on a poor old man who walked in sluglike fashion up the ramp to our left, hooked a turn, and walked SLLLLLOOOWWWWLLLLY along the front of the section. "They need to stamp a yellow triangle on his back." someone mused as he hobbled along. "Sir, your blinker has been on since you left the ramp!" I hollered after him as he was close to his destination 30 feet after the turn. "Hey, the speed limit is 5, pick it up!" someone else cracked.

There was a vicious, violent fight up there that night. Some guy in a Nebraska sweatshirt went to town and battered a couple of guys, including tossing some guy 4 seats southbound. He was tossed for his efforts, making muscle poses on the way out, and the crowd applauded. Later in the game "a junkie" also got the boot, and on the way out was hit with a "stay away from our schools!" command from the crowd.

But the funniest toss was a guy who kept standing by the rail that Milton commanded with his cowbell after he morphed into the bellkeep after Ali's tragic passing in 96, who was "doing a jig." He was very drunk, but I think it was the bad dancing and not the public intoxication that got him. At one point, he actually stumbled and fell while dancing, and Queen Latifah on security joined in with us and booed him. She then told him to find a seat and "never dance again." Sure enough a few innings later he "jigged again" and he was given the old heave-ho. As he had been singing as well, someone attributed his behavior to "one doo-dah, doo-dah too many."

The "Y R U GAY" song (sung to the infamous YMCA song) was not in full effect yet, as we subbed "Whiten IS Gay" for the main chorus of that old standard during this game at least. We were rabid, and we wanted beer, so much so that when a friendly and grinning soda vendor ambled up he was met with a "get your soda sellin' ass back in the kitchen." When a pack of idiots headed up the wrong aisle after a food run, they were kindly informed "the Goofy movie is filming over there."

During the 7th inning stretch some guy in our midst gave us a heads up and a "watch this" and while everyone was standing he spun towards the loge and whipped a tennis ball at the security guard leaning on the rail up there. "Boop" - it got him right off the back, and the crime was never bought to trial. A nice shot.

The only other notes of interest on here mention a Fat Daddy Chico lookalike that shared some space in 37 with his scamming doppleganger, and a nod to a discussion over how funny it would be if they could get a mime and a lady with a semaphone to stand by the rail and do the game for everyone.

Out on the field the Yankees went to 6-2 with a 5-3 win, coming back with 3 runs in the bottom of the 8th off old friends Lilliquist and Joel Johnston to grab it. The inning featured jacks off the bats of Paul O'Neill and Don Mattingly. Wade Boggs went 2-4, scored twice, and actually stole a base! Mattingly and Tony Fernandez also had 2 hits for the Yankees. The pinstripes had a lineup of LF Polonia, 3B Boggs, RF O'Neill, DH Tartabull, 1B Mattingly, C Stanley, CF BW, SS Fernandez, and 2B Pat Kelly. Melido Perez started and pitched a decent enough game, but the beneficiary of the late runs was Joltin' Joe Ausanio, and John Wetteland notched his 4th Yankee save.

As for the Sox, they only managed 6 hits, two from Mike Greenwell, with home runs from Ho-Mo Vaughn and Tim Naehring. They offered up a lineup of 2B Alicea, SS Valentin, 1B Vaughn, RF Whiten, LF Greenwell, C MacFarlane, DH Reggie Jefferson, 3B Naehring, and CF Lee Tinsley. The immortal Troy O'Leary, the Irish black guy, made a pinch-hitting appearance in the 9th. Erik Hanson started for the Sox, and after Lilliquist and Johnston blew the game Alejandro "Penis" aka Alejandro Pena wrapped up.

Todays player profile is scampy Lee Tinsley, who haunted the league from 93-97, wearing 3 different uni's in that time (Boston, Seattle, Philly) - a pesky sort, he snuck into 361 games and managed 870 at-bats, showing some true Punch and Judy statistics at the stick. Batted .241, with a whopping 13 home runs and 79 runs batted in. He had a modicum of speed, nailing 41 in his tenure, but he was also caught stealing 20 times. He also struck out a lot, 231 times, basically one in four trips to the dish. In this night in May, 95, we saw him go 1-4, complete with a whiff off of Melido. Born in 69, the native Kentuckian was a first round draft pick that did not pan out, for the A's in 1987. He actually made a leaderboard in 95...9th most "sacrifices" with 9. It was a joy to watch him play!

Again, a morbidly small crowd, especially for a Yankee/Sox affair. Your umpires, back on the job, were Vic Voltaggio, Dale Scott, Jim Joyce, and Jim McKean, and the game was played under damp conditions in 3:01.

Thanks for reading, yo!