May 9th, 1994 - Just Another "Maniac' Monday!

May 9th, 1994 - Yankees host the Indians
"Do the wave and wave your ass out of here!"

Ah, a Monday game. This may have been one of the last Monday games I ever made, due to my swilling a 6-pack while watching Monday Night Raw addiction that kicked off around this time. But, nonetheless, I was here to see former Tiger great Jack Morris wrapping up his career with the Cleveland Indians. That dick.

The Yankees had just finished off a 3 game sweep of the Red Sox at the Stadium, which I missed cause of "a doctors appointment and Mothers Day." Weak!

Speaking of dicks, Manny Ramirez was on hand. And his "contingent" was out in full force, the Dominicans we dubbed "dummy in a cans" who would crash our party whenever Manny was in town, raising all kinds of Cain. This feud between our core crews continued on for another decade. I saw fit to remark on here that my boss Bernard (who ended up firing me twice over time) was at the Devils/Bruins game after saying he was going to come along to this Yankees game with me instead. I also mentioned that I was "sober" and that it was good to show up like that every once in a while to surprise the lookie-loo's who kept one eye on us along with one eye on the field even then. Things off-kilter, like me being sober, confused them.

A wave started to simmer, and Queen Bee Tina hopped up and got into the face of a ringleader with the classic line, "do the wave and wave your ass out of here!" She was busy that evening, also snapping at someone who flicked on the game on his radio, introducing herself with a curt "shut off the radio!" There was a lot of firepower hollering at the radio guy, as stalwarts Cowbell Ali and Big-Nosed George also had their say to him.

We spent the entire 3rd inning having a "how to sneak beer in here" discussion, so the prices must have been getting to us. Think of it, the average Friday and Saturday games probably set me back $30-$40 each on suds alone. I mean, holy fu*k.

The Manny Ramirez faction actually had a sign up there. Who would have known they could write? While I did not mark down what it said, someone cracked "they probably stole it." There are notes like "Ramirez faction sign distraction" and "talkin' shit with Ramirez fans" on here.

It would not surprise me that there would be a lot of interaction between the groups, even if it was acrimonious, as no one else was there but the rowdy bleacher bunch and the Ramirez faction...I wrote "seeing a lot of blue seats" - there have been bigger crowds at 1912 high school reunions than this Monday night affair.

The first Indian fan sighting was at 6:58....the Manny fans did not count, cause they could not name one other Indian. But enough about them. Since the Indians were in town we broke out the old "Old to Indian" song we conjured after the fatal spring-training boat crash, and Big-Nosed George laughed.

We were already starting to overuse "Yabba Dabba Douchebag!" as it is on the scorecard again. I was falling into a bad habit around this time of trying to provide game commentary in free areas of the scorecard, connecting them to the box applying to the hitter with arrows. They get in the way. There are bullet points like "rainbow throw" and "wild pitch, Belle on 3rd" and "Morris barehand" and "2nd on throw" dotting this particular card. To show I was thinking outside the box, I also was keeping play by play on crowd capers, as I see "aborted Friend of Mine song" and "first bell 7:21" and "oh, no, wave" and "bigger wave!" on here as well. I also noted that a 1-2-3 bottom of the 2nd "took 3 seconds."

A fan autographed the scorecard - one "George something or another" but at least he made a comment too..."with Morris pitching it will be 14-0" Well, that would have been nice. Morris was not getting much respect out there coming in, before the game and next to his name I snidely scrawled "the jerk we know and love."

Ah, here is a play on names...I wrote "Manny RAMirez" emphasizing the RAM which I suppose was a reference to butt sex. Again, this was the Beavis and Butthead era. We gave yet another nod to "Windmill Willie" Randolph, by speculating that Don Quijote was stuck on his arm. A joke that takes some thought!

Faux celebrities on hand were "Kenny Rogers" and "Peter Sellers." Welcome! Ah, I am seeing the old "home run in a silo" joke on here in reference to a popup...that joke has not aged well. We also did some singing, although I noted "we sound like castrated men."

Its funny, when Jim Thome came in to pinch hit for the Indians in the 9th (he eventually K'd) and I remarked "ONLY WHITE GUY ON THE TEAM." And thats almost no joke! The starting lineup, aside from Mark Lewis, who no one noticed, was Lofton, Baerga, Belle, Eddie Murray, Candy Maldonado, Ramirez, Alvaro Espinoza, and Tony Pena. Hispanics and African-Americans galore. Oh, and Mark Lewis.

Fu*king Ramirez was at it again. He cracked yet another home run off Yankee pitching, and clouted a double to left in the 7th. Even then someone muttered "this Ramirez deal is like a bad B movie." If we only knew then...

Jim Abbott started for the Yankees, again...its like he started every game I ever went to. He pitched ok, and squeaked out the win, with Xavier Hernandez actually notching his 5th save, with setup help from Bob Wickman. Hernandez K'd 2 in the 9th, and when he got two strikes on Kenny Lofton with 2 outs and one on someone uttered, "strike him out...it will be the happiest day of my life." Lofton did not cooperate - he flew out.

Morris walked 5 in 7 plus innings of work, causing me to write "there are more balls around Morris than in a parade of elephants." Wow, between that and the arcane Don Quijote reference, I have some real "thinking mans jokes" that night. That jackoff Jose Mesa also took a turn on the hill for the Indians that night. On the Cleveland side of things, not only did Ramirez have a fun evening, Albert "Joey" Belle went 3-4 and had a savage poke over the fence off of Abbott as well.

In what seems to be a pattern with people I am mentioning on here around this time, Morris was released later in the year, on August 9th. And that was a wrap for him. He ended up with a 5.60 ERA (after notching a 6.19 ERA for Toronto the year before) in 23 starts. I am happy we got to see the jerk get his 4th loss of the season on this night.

What a putrid crowd. A mere pittance of 16,567 were on hand, and the game clocked in at 2:59. Your umpires on the night were Larry Young, Rich Garcia, Brian O'Nora, and Dale Ford.

Thanks for reading!