July 8th, 1994 - Tom Tossed!

July 8th, 1994 - Yankees host the Angels
BFTs! $3.50 beers?

The idiot Angels were in town, and I was not long for this world. Yours truly got the boot for doing, well, not much of anything. More on that later.

Ah, another Friday night game. Security was in one of those moods from the get-go, and our barbs in their direction did not help quell matters. We had a penchant for making things worse. That evenings rent-a-cops looked particularly hapless during this particular evening, causing someone to ask aloud, "what, did WFAN run a contest to be a security guard for the night?" When security honcho Kathy, the woman that looked like TVs Roz the bailiff from TVs Night Court, strolled out shaking her head we chanted "Night Court! Night Court" at her and she stalked up the steps, waving her arms in menacing fashion while snarling, "start that again and I'll show you Night Court!"

Moving back to the business at hand, I remarked on Kevin Elster's demotion, waxing poetic by saying "Kevin Elster...you won. And the prize is a trip to Albany."

I dont really remember $3.50 beers, but I mentioned them on here twice. I said "paid $3.50 for a shot of beer" and "I bought a little $3.50 beer." Was this inside the Stadium? On sale for legal public consumption? Was it after I was tossed that I got these gems someone outside the Stadium walls? Or did I buy it out of a bathroom stall downstairs from some shifty sort like I used to buy my mini liquor bottles? How wacky is this. A bunch of us had O'Neill dartboard target signs and O'Neill actually hit a home run right into our cluster, and none of us had our signs up at the time. "I told you to keep the friggin' sign up" someone muttered in grumpy fashion, and I duly noted such.

It was a Friday and beer was flowing and our Yankees were playing but we still found the time to wonder why the subscription price to Yankee Magazine was the odd number of "$14.97." What the fu*k was with the .97?

Someone, dont ask me why, came up with the term "BFT." It appears more than once on here. We called Jim Edmonds a "BFT." We called Chad Curtis a "BFT" as well. I was sitting here wondering what the Hell that meant, and there it is in the lower left corner of the scorecard....BFT means "Butt Fu*king Team." Nice. We were also breaking out the old "Edmonds does Curtis, then pees on Snow!" gag for Jim, Chad, and JT.

Even back then we were asking elderly Asian men "don't you own the Mariners?" At some point Animal started belting out the Horses Ass ditty, but flubbed it. I gave myself credit for "picking it up" in mid-verse and saving the day.

Some sort of hokey contest went on where a fan of the game was announced, and they won a set of binoculars. First they showed the binoculars on the screen, and the fans booed. Then they showed the winner, and they booed louder.

Got to see Russ Davis' first major league hit, a single to center in the 2nd off of Brian Anderson. He was then promptly doubled off when he got caught wandering when Pat Kelly lined out to third. We even got to see Al Leiter's brother Mark make an appearance, always a treat. You have to hand it to me, by marking this it shows I knew what was important, and what was not. Fat Daddy Chico won his own home run pool, which was a common happening out there. The scammer!

Animal was "on" that night, not only butchering the simple stanzas of Friend of Mine, but partaking in a verbal altercation with "Night Court" Roz in the 8th, that led to me and others getting the boot along with him. She came storming up that inning with a scowl, and was obviously looking for someone. Animal pushed things along by standing up and asking "what, did Security Saddam send you?" That was all for him. She beckoned him over and out.

Then she started randomly chucking a few of us out. With another very scant crowd I had nothing but leg and elbow room. My Yankees duffel bag was taking up 2 seats to one side and I was on my own little island out there. I chuckled as she pointed at someone and said, "you, you're out." She swerved left and with another point said, "you....come on down. You're out of here." Then she looked right up at me, and I was doing absolutely nothing, cept maybe smirking. And she was like, "you, come on. You're gone."

I looked behind me and there was no one there. I could not understand what she was doing and why I was involved in it, but I went anyway. Wasn't my first time, and sure as Hell would not be my last time getting thrown out. I passed off the scorecard to someone who took care of the most of the rest of the game and bungled it pretty bad, and watched the end across the street in the comfortable surroundings of Greek Steve's eatery across the street.

Four mystery outs on here before my ejection in the 8th, one atrributed to a "discussion of the small crowds." Amazing I would take my eyes off the field for that. These "mo's" came for Mark Delesandro and Gary DiSarcina leading off the 8th for Cali, Randy Velarde in the Yankee 1st, and Stanley leading off the Yankee 2nd. Oh well.

As for the field of play, The Yankees squeaked out a 4-3 decision, with most of the action coming in the 9th when I was outside chugging a Fosters oil can at the Yankee Eatery. Going into the 9th the Yankees had a 2-0 lead, then Melido Perez, who had been absolutely sailed along, got into serious trouble. When he left and Steve Howe was done it was 3-2 Angels, with all the runs tacked on to Perez' ledger. The Yankees, however, came back for two runs and a walk-off victory on four hits off of Joe Grahe in the bottom of the frame and that was that. No pie thought. Bob Wickman got the gift victory after throwing .1 of an inning in the 9th, while giving up a hit of his own.

The Angels mustered a mere 6 hits on the night, offering up a lineup of CF Curtis, LF Rex Hudler (way to get busted with marijuana traveling as an Angel broadcaster down the line) RF Edmonds, DH Chili Davis, C Greg Myers, 2B Easley, 1B Snow, 3B Delesandro, and the SS DiSarcina. On the mound we saw Anderson, one Scott Lewis, Bob Patterson, Mark Leiter (for a third of an inning, anway) and the aforementioned Mr. Grahe. What a tickety-tack pitching crew.

The Yankees had Bernie leading off in CF, SS Velarde, 3B Boggs, DH Tartabull, C Stanley, RF O'Neill, 3B Russ Davis, 2B Kelly, and batting 9th the leftfielder Gerald Williams. O'Neill had 3 hits, including the home run, and BW had a pair. On the night the Yankees racked up 11 of them.

Lets hit up a profile, shall we? Mark Dalesandro seems as good a place to go as any. This is one of those guys that even after I read the name and check his stats, I dont really remember. An 18th round draft pick in 1990, his playing career stretched from 94-2001, with large holes in place of a few of those years.

He managed to see action in 5 different seasons in those 8 years. Just 79 games, and 129 at-bats. Way to represent! 3 homers, 17 RBIs, a .240 lifetime batting average. Actually stole a base in 1999 with Toronto, and walked only 3 times in his career. This guy, despite the fact that he caught, played third and the outfield, was as nondescript as they come. Born in 1968, he is my age, and a product of the U of Illinois, which also bought us Darrin Fletcher, Tom Haller (who is now dead), Scott Spezio, and Pope Don Pall! He actually got to play in ONE game as recently as 2001 for the White Sox, but did not even bat. Good evening, Mr. Dalesandro, wherever you are today!

As for the 8th of July, only 23,770 were on hand to see the Yankees, who were still rolling merrily along. Your umpires on hand for this 2:55 game were the honorable Mike Reilly, Tim Welke, Joe Brinkman, and the late Durwood Merrill.

Thanks for reading! Only 2 more games for 1994, and another year of scorecard memories is in the book! So stay on board, the best of the worst is yet to come.