Bear Ass on hand!
All 9 Yankee starters score a run!
A late summer Tuesday night at the Stadium, and old Ali the Cowbell King was not there again. A night after making her "he's probably dead" crack Queen Bee Tina shrugged this one off and said, "he's probably given up." Coming into the night the Yankees were a whopping 16 games out in the division, but only 4 1/2 in the wild card, it appears.
This was a HISTORICAL NIGHT - it was Jose "Chico" Lind's last ever major league game, and we were there to see it! He went 0-2, striking out in his last at bat, and was released by the Angels 2 days later to little fanfare.
Enough regulars were missing out of the bleachers that night that we did up a "Missing In Action" litany in the right margin. Here are some of the ghosts that haunted Section 39 in 1995, that chose to not show up to this eventual Yankee 12-4 victory. If nothing else, it gives you a good idea of the makeup of the section nearly a decade ago. Missing in action on 8/29/95...
Ali, Captain Bob, Animal, Jeff (Willie Loman), Billy (Crazy Devil Fan), Barry (Blackjack), Syphillis Joe, Hasan, Dave and Chris, the rapper Melle Mel, Redhead Dave, Oriental Girl, Mickey, Randy, Willie, Lou, Cigar Guys, Patrick, Angel, Mary Ellen, Tony, Bird, JR, Lee, and John the Security Guard. And the ever-popular Justin's name was also tagged among the "MIAs" that night. In another nod to the old school, one "Mo" wrote, "I love this game! Yankee baseball till the day I die!" - Milton also signed his autograph on the card, with an inexplicable "Just Call Me Mo!" command next to that.
Tim Salmon threw a ball up to us at 6:40 while the Angels were hitting and shagging. It was towards me but I "missed it" and so did "Dave." Tina ended up with the ball. It did not stop people from roasting Salmon on a spit. "Salmon!" a girl of all people howled, "where did you get your last name from? Your Moms box??" Yet another fan added, "Salmon, your mother is a blowfish!"
We were having a lot of fun with wordplay on names. We broke out the old "Edmonds eats Chili and pees on Snow!" in an ode to Jim, Davis, and J.T. We were in a singing mood - a heap of us belted out, "Cum on feel the Noize, Salmon likes little boys!!" a few times. There was also an attempt to sing some Elvis, substituting "Salmon sucks!" for the "I'm all shook up!" refrain.
This was around the time that the head honcho of the security brigade that looked like LBJ was patrolling the scene out there. Gang Bang Steve always had a quip for him. "Hey, LBJ, how is the man on the grassy knoll?" he hollered on this night.
We heard one of the better moans and groans revolving around a gambling loss on this night, as someone behind us muttered "I lost the house and bought the farm both last night." There was a guy with a tie on out there, and he was getting it all night. "He wont take it off unless the 'lose the tie' message is faxed to him" someone quipped. At one point Tina marched over and asked with a sarcastic grin, "do you hear the abuse they are giving you?" and he shrugged in depracatory fashion and said, "I dont care."
Tina was regaling us with "road stories" while we sat there and watched the Yankees pound one out. These included her spotting Tim Stoddard walking around a team hotel with his penis hanging out, asking someone, anyone, for "a fu*k." She also recanted the time that Spike Owen "mooned her" in Boston.
Its funny to see that even then I marked a little star next to a Yankee getting thrown out at the plate with the message, "Windmill-ie Randolph waves him in" With the Yankees slogging along in the standings as they were there were a lot of nitpicks towards the pinstriped on this night. Someone grumbled the old, "Kelly could not hit water if he fell out of a boat." And during the top of the 2nd we sat there and tried to name "every bad Yankee pitcher in recent history." It must have stretched on for another couple of innings...
Couple of time stamps for posterity, including a warning that came down in the 6th (presumably for a chant that included "fu*k") and a frowny face nod that the "wave goes round" at 9:27. Also a note here that Chili Davis went nuts after being called out on strikes in the Angel 8th and took to exchanging barbs with the home plate ump, and he was ejected for both his troubles and taking up our valuable time.
Hey, anyone remember Bear Ass? He may have been my first gimmick out there...he was a little teddy bear that used to drive around with me in my car that I ended up bringing to games.....yeah, I dont get it either....one Bear Ass moment I wont forget is when someone once wryly said to me, "No wonder you call him Bear Ass - if I carried around a bear like that I would be Em-Bear-Assed." : 0
By this point in his Yankee tenure some fans had taken to calling Pat Kelly "jughead." Next to an E4 someone wrote, "thattaboy, Jughead." While Kelly was helping out on a double play, someone in the stands howled, "turn that, you jugheaded prick!" After a ground ball to second I noted someone had implored, "throw him out for once, jughead!" So that was where we were at with Kelly in the summer of 95.
And, finally, in the only faux celebrity sightings of the night, outside of LBJ on security we caught a gander at a "very old Hulk Hogan" and a Fabio wannabe we promptly dubbed "Faggio."
As for what was playing out on the field, the Yankees rode the pitching of David Cone (14-7) and 13 hits to tank the Angels 12-4. Bernie had 3 hits and plated 3, and Boggs, Sierra and Stanley each had two. Stanley went deep in the 1st off Angel starter and loser Chuck Finley (13-9) - how many times do you see this...ALL 9 YANKEE STARTERS SCORED A RUN IN THE GAME. This is the lineup that did it - 1B Boggs, CF Bernie, RF O'Neill, DH Sierra, C Stanley, 3B Velarde, LF G Williams, SS Fernandez, and 2B Jughead. Cone went 8 on the hill, and Rob MacDonald wrapped it up.
For the Angels Finley, who was tagged for 5 runs in the very 1st, was followed by good old John Habyan, Mike Butcher ("butcher THIS!") and one Bob Patterson. The Angels mustered only 5 hits, but that included 3 homers, off the bats of Bony Tony Phillips, Tim Salmon, and JT Snow. The Angel lineup was 3B Phillips, SS Owen, CF Edmonds, DH Davis, RF Salmon, 1B Snow, LF Garret Anderson in his rookie campaign, C Fabragas, and 2B Jose "Chico" Lind.
For our profile, lets go with Mr. Butcher. A 2nd round pick by KC in the 86 draft, he lasted for 137 innings between 1992-1995 for the Angels, posting a lifetime ERA of 4.47. A sharp lifetime record of 11-4, with 9 saves to boot. In those 137 innings he walked a pungent 82 while fanning 96. He was also tagged for 130 hits, 14 of which were home runs. On this night in 95 he was tagged for a run on a hit and 3 walks in ZERO innings. Born in 1965 he made his swansong for California in 95 at the tender age of 30, never to be heard from again. We should feel honored to have seen him wrapping things up with such a nice bow!
As for the 29th, 24,233 were on hand to see this drubbing by the Yankees, which was played out in 2:53. Your umpires on hand were the honorable Vic Voltaggio, Jim Joyce, Dale Scott, and Jim McKean.
Hey, thanks for reading!!!!!!!!
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