"He would smoke out of that bell if he could"
This appeared to be a wacky night. I cant believe some of the crap I am seeing on this scorecard.
Old Ali, the Keeper of the Cowbell, was a centerpiece on this night. He started the "Hip Hip, You're Gay!" with a random holler chant, even. He admitted to a bunch of us that he needed "some of that marijuana smoke" to "really go crazy on the bell." When we laughed him off Queen Bee Tina said, "no, its true. He would smoke out of that bell if he could." At one point, feeling the mood, Ali even handed off his bell for a beer vendor to clang in fervor. I got caught up in it and yelled "YANKEES Suck!" really loud, obviously in error during the chorus, totally screwing up as I was drunk. I took the appropriate amount of heat the rest of the night.
The night started off on a funny note, as Laura Branigan of all people sung the National Anthem. I guess Gloria Estafan was busy that night. While she (or I should say the anthem itself) was cheered as she was going off the field, she was booed heading on to it. Someone had a "Bleachers Suck" sign, and he was IN the bleachers. That, predictably enough, did not go over well.
It was "Long Island Firefighters Night" at the Stadium, and I remember getting all excited that I saw someone way down and way to the right in the same old black and yellow snazzy windbreaker jacket I was issued back in my Wyandanch Fire Department days. I finally put down my beer and made the long trek over there to see which friend of mine it was, and saw he was not even in my department. But I saw that they did indeed have the same exact color scheme and lettering inside of a cool yellow circle out there in Malverne...then a couple of innings later I noticed so did another fireman from Patchogue, and a third from Ronkonkoma later in the night on the beer line. Friggin A, didn't any fire department in Long Island have an original jacket, including my own? Geez, what a downer that was.
A buzzcutted blonde guy leaned over the loge to take a gander at us, and was met with a friendly, "jump, you fu*king Nazi!" We then turned our attentions back to the field and the idiot Robert Perez in right. "Perez, your Mom buys quarter Sun-Dew drinks!" someone howled in a friendly nod to his ethnicity. Our good friend Bird, the gangly and boring guy that everyone avoided, strolled up. "Bird, fly away already" someone grumbled.
A skinny elderly man with a white beard shuffled up the steps in sandles, and was promptly dubbed "Santa Lite." But in the true groaner of the season, and maybe of all-time, I mentioned that with all the beer that we drank, we truly made the mens room a "Urine-Nation" and wrote it on the card. Ugh....
The scoreboard filled us in on a fancy "this date in baseball" tidbit, accompanied by funny calliope music. In 1992 Mickey Morandini notched an unassisted triple play, so we ruminated on those for a while. At least we were talking baseball. The baseball talk turned to the Yankees, and Roy Firestone's recent and public observation that "Mattingly may be done." How right he was.....but I had been saying that since Opening Day, 1994. Tina, however, was already pushing him as the next manager of the Yankees. 15 years down the line, Id say she's a little off on that. At least she was ready to push him off the field, too.
The cotton candy guy was still catching shit after debuting the game before. "Hey, cotton candy, where's your clown?" someone asked. The beer guy was not spared our barbs either. While he dilly dallied on the lower reaches someone snapped, "what are you doing down there, brewing it?" When he finally started up the steps a bunch of impatient yokes, led by me, started exorting, "Run, beer guy! Run!"
"Im a a Former minor leaguer" Chris was on his "Jughead" kick when it came to Pat Kelly again, howling things like, "way to go, Jughead!", "Nice try, Jughead!" and "Kick him in the head when he slides in like that, Jughead!" We were still trying to incorporate Mike Huff's last name into obscene chants, with "Perez huffed it" being one of the lamer efforts, and a few more "huff and puff and blow" jokes. A girl was on hand with a Tenessee cap, which caused someone to crack, "You should be proud...Tenessee is the only state Arkansas can pick on."
Seven mystery outs on this thing. I seem to get worse with mystery outs as the seasons plod along. Too many distractions. Elsewhere around the circuit, history was being made as Joe Roa was making his major league debut for Cleveland, and Sam Horn and Chris Howard were both playing in their final major league contests for the Texas Rags.
We actually had a pitching duel for once, won by the Yankees and Sterling Hitchcock of all people. Fearing a misprint, I did check baseballreference.com and sure enough, he went the full 9 and gave up only a single tally (in the top of the 1st) on 6 hits and a walk through the game. Upped his mark to a piddling 9-10. Pat Hentgen was the hard luck loser, going 8 and giving up both Yankee runs in the first as well, so we saw a lot of blank frames after that early stage. After Hentgen threw 8 innings, giving up 5 hits, the nondescript Tony Castillo finished up for Toront-blow.
3 of the Yankees 5 hits were in that first inning, and this was your lineup. 3B Boggs, CF BW, RF O'Neill, DH Strawberry (who Windmill-ie Randolph got nailed at 3rd in the first), LF James, 1B Mattingly, Stanley, SS Velarde, and 2B Kelly. For the Blow Jays we saw SS Gonzalez, DH Molitor, LF Carter, 1B Olerud (nice helmet ya got there!), 3B Sprague, CF Huff, RF Perez, 2B Cedeno, and C Randy Knorr (lol)
Lets roll out a profile, and we will go with Mr. Knorr. Stuck around from 91-2001, but here were his game totals by year. 3, 8, 39, 40, 45, 37, 4, 15, 13, 15, and 34. The CONSUMATE backup catcher. 253 games total, in 11 seasons. A season and a quarters worth of at-bats, with 676, in which he mustered a cool 24 homers and 86 RBIs. It was the lifetime average of .226 that did not do him any favors. Never had more than 132 at-bats in a season, and this was the year, 95. Born 11/2/1968, he was a 10th round draft pick in 1986 by Toronto, whom he logged time for in 91-95. Moved on to Houston, Florida, Houston again, Texas, and wrapped up in Montreal. His career ended 2 days before 9/11. NEVER stole a base, but did manage to get caught once. Has become a vaunted minor league manager of note, and all with the middle name of Duane! Baseballreference.com page has 2,512 hits as of 11/18/2010. I miss him!
As for the 20th, another weak crowd of 20,541 saw a blazing quick game, played in 2:16. This may have been the quickest one I have officially scored to this point. I marked at the end of the 8th that it was only 9:47. When the game starts at 7:30 and change, you got something there. Your umpires pushing it along were Greg Kosc, Dan Morrison, Al Clark, and Larry Barnett.
Thanks for reading!
HEY! ITS RANDY KNORR!
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