"Hi there, foul pole. You are so yellow"
Despite floundering around 15 games back in the division, the Yankees entered this Thursday nights affair a mere 2 1/2 out of the wild card, so hopes were high. I bought along my little Yankee teddy bear, Bear Ass, whose record on the season was 1-0. Someone wrote the same exact joke that debuted the last time on the last scorecard vs the Angels all over again, that being "Salmon, where do you get your name from, your Moms box!?"
This was one of those games where the sound system was not working for whatever reason before the game. We alternated from yelling at the grounds crew and Al Trautwig, who was waltzing around the field. Later in the game one of the grounds crew workers came up simply to tell me that I had the loudest voice they had ever heard in the Stadium, and that I was clearly heard yelling jokes from the bullpen area. So take that, Bad Mouth Larry and Bald Vinny!
There was a person who really looked to have no idea walking around, causing George to utter, "Uh, oh, we got another loony tune in the house." He looked like he was on every drug in the world. This dope ended up in 37, and someone else decided to act out his meeting with the foul pole. "Hi there, foul pole. You are so yellow." Well, you get the idea.
"Salmon, you Snow-blower!" was a short and sweet barb and a tip of the cap to both Tim and J.T. out there on the field. And, in a more detailed and lurid play on names we shouted, "Salmon goes in 'Easley'" in a nod to Tim and Damion.
Outside of the zombie walking around, there were a lot of other oddities roaming the grounds, to where someone finally lost it and shouted, "Jesus Christ! What the Hell is going on here! You got a skinny lady with a bald head, and that old woman over there speaks for herself.....that guy over there has 12 kids, and there's a guy with a button shirt and a Boston hat....ah, fu*k it..." I have no idea who made that rant, but they should be on stage somewhere.
Yet another fan was walking around with a Yankee jersey with the # 88 on the back. "Are you supposed to be a baseball player or a wide reciever?" someone snapped. To cap off the lunacy, there was also a girl that looked like "Raggedy Ann."
Bob Sheppard was on his game, stepping into the shoes of Captain Obvious, announcing in his voice of God, "Sbarro Pizza is also available at Sbarro." Ya think?
At some point in the game Queen Bee Tina was tossing a baseball around in her hand and a little kid walking by said to her, "You didnt catch that ball." Story came out that one of Paul O'Neills 3 homers on the day went sailing out there and after a series of Keystone Koppish flubs Tina somehow ended up with it. Someone was griping that they had a shot at the ball that Tina now held. This little kid, who apparently cleaned up on errant baseballs himself during BP frankly stated, "I'll give you one of my balls" and because he said that we promptly dubbed him "as queer as a $3 bill"
Tina was something else herself. At one point she pointed down to where Fat Daddy Chico was, chatting with an old man by the rail. "Hey, look - its Laurel and Hardy" she said. Speaking of Chico, his claim of coming to Yankee Stadium "for 44 years!" was being met with a lot of skepticism. "Malarky!" Steve spat. "44 years? My DAD was 6 years old!"
Out on the field it was the Paul O'Neill show. 4 hits, 3 of them home runs, and EIGHT RBIs. The Yankees scored 4 in the first and 3 in the second, which included 2 of the O'Neill launches and another blast by Mike Stanley. Brian Anderson and current bullpen coach Mike Harkey were the beneficiaries of this harsh treatment. The Yankees went on to win 11-6, but not after some scary moments around the 6th inning. After Buck Showalter removed Sterling Hitchcock for Bob Wickman and Wickman started getting tagged Tina snapped, "Thank you, Buck, you fu*king asshole."
In closing, there was a little bit of history made on this same night, as steady vet Mike Moore appeared in his final game in Chicago while all this was going on.
Back in New York the Yankees knocked 15 hits, 3 by Boggs, O'Neills 4, and a pair each for Sierra, Stanley, and Kelly. The Yankee lineup was 3B Boggs, CF Bernie, RF O'Neill, DH Sierra, C Stanley, 1B Mattingly, LF G Williams, SS Velarde, and 2B Kelly.
On the Angel side of things, they had 14 hits of their own including 3 each by Salmon and catcher Greg Meyers. Here was your Angel lineup - 3B Phillips, 2B Hudler, CF Edmonds, DH Chili Davis, RF Salmon, 1B Snow, LF Anderson, SS Easley, and C Meyers.
Hitchcock got the win for the Yankees, not without trying to lose. Upped his mark to 7-9. Wickman, Howe and Wetteland ended up giving up 8 hits in the final 3 innings. The Angels had a veritable parade to and from the mound, with Anderson and Harkey starting the mess, followed up by Bob Patterson, Mike Butcher, John Habyan, and Troy Percival in his rookie year pitching the 9th and fanning 2.
For the profile, lets go with Mr. Harkey, who may very well become the Yankees' pitching coach. One of the bigger busts in recent baseball history - a 1st round pick (4th overall) by the Cubs in 1987. Kicked around from 88-97, for the Cubs, Rockies, A's, Angels, and Dodgers, with only a 4.49 ERA and 36-36 record to show for it. In 656 lifetime innings on the hill he was touched for 720 hits, walked 225, and only wiffed 316. Racked for 75 homers. Should have been ashamed of himself. A San Diego native born in 1966, he was a product of Cal State Fullerton, which also bought us Phil Nevin, Aaron Rowand, Brent Mayne, and Mark Kotsay among others. Hell, even Huck Flener came out of there! As of 11/4/2010, Harkey had 39,550 hits on his Baseballreference.com page. Bottom line, I was proud to see him in his short active stint in the American League, which was encompassed in 1995.
25,633 came out on this Thursday night, and the game was played in 3:21. Your umpires on hand were Dale Scott, Jim McKean, Vic Voltaggio, and Jim Joyce.
Thanks for reading!
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