"He's an idiot...I pay no attention to him."
A Saturday afternoon in the Bronx, and despite a 38-25 record at home the Yankees had managed to find themselves almost 15 games off the pace set by Boston. I was in one of those moods (you know, a drunk one) and its noted on here I was literally throwing ice cubes at Sox fans. I connected on a head shot in the 5th, too! Old-school elder George emphatically stated, "we always beat these assholes" so I guess he had not taken a gander at the standings before heading to the park.
There was a girl on hand with "horse's ass hair." You see, horse's ass hair contains a ponytail that looks like, well, a REAL ponytail. Thats not a good thing. A little boy was walking around with a gaudy beeper to his hip, causing someone to query, "who's going to page him, Captain Kangaroo?"
There were a heap of Sox fans on hand. "They're not used to going to a game and not seeing poles in their way" someone cracked. The old, "ground ball to Buckner....ooops!" ditty was a crowd favorite on this day, and there was a nod to the various "Bleacher Bimbos" who made the trip to look at some real men in the ballpark stands for a change.
THE BEST, though, was a fan who had a pro-Boston sign that mispelled Boston. You can't make this up...the sign apparently said BOSTEN and was referenced on this card more than once. "The only thing Boston is good for is clam chowder." someone said. "Thanks for the Bambino!" was a favorite repeated more than once to the Bostonian visitors, as it is to this very day.
I kind of have an idea where Steve was singing the Gang Bang way back then. There is a telling quote...."if he's here (referring to Saddam on security) I have to do it." So I thinks we had a racket going....since Steve was SO young - 17, at this time, - he would not be tossed as quick as a Captain Bob or an Animal, the sketchy veterans of the group. Its noted on here as FACT that Steve did indeed belt out everyones favorite bleacher jig on 9/9/95, at exactly 3:38 and that it "goes over well" outside of George insisting on including his "O'Neill drops the soap" campaign.
Steve was on point even then and showing knowledge beyond his years, at one point referring to Crazy Devil Fan Billy with a simple, "he's an idiot. I pay no attention to him."
Gang Bang song aside, there were some song controversies out there among the family.....old Ali the Cowbell King himself put a stop to the somewhat obscene "Take Me Out To The Bleachers" refrain, in a tip of the cap to the families taking advantage of the sun on that day. And Queen Bee Tina ALREADY was carrying on her "no Charlie Pride" edict during the Gang Bang.....what was so obscene about that lyric, that did not apply to some of the other humdingers in that song? For the unitiated, its a simple, "Knock Knock!" (WHOS THERE?) "CHARLEY PRIDE!" (CHARLIE PRIDE WHO?) "CHARLEY PRIDE HER LEGS APART AT THE GANG BANG...."
I mentioned on here, complete with frowny face, "just spent $6 on hot dogs." What, that would get me ONE hot dog today, I should have kept it to myself.
In a line I have heard from a few stand-up comics since then someone said, "Pete Rose was kicked out of gambling for betting on baseball." Thats a good one.
Willie McGee, then battling for the tag of ugliest man in baseball with the likes of Otis Nixon and Ron Karkovice, was taking a lot of our shit out there in right. Many an ET joke. "ET, GO home" for example. As always McGee took it not well, and traded barbs over the fence both with us both before and during the game. Another Sox there apparently to make friends was Erik Hansen (who actually went 15-5 in that year, his only one with Boston) who threw a few balls to the Creatures during BP to rampant howls of "throw it back!"
There was a nod to a few of the fans we saw all the time on here. Our VERY elderly old African American friend, the hunchbacked Mickey Rivers was on hand, and that was noted by a "slow down, Mickey Rivers!" barb someone hurled as he shuffled his way around. The annoying Yankee fan with the Uncle Sam tophat and the painted face was there, but sans painted face. So we hardly recognized him. There was also a "Chris Elliot" lookalike, who we aptly told to "Get a life!" There was also a beer vendor that looked like "Ruben Sierra."
Hey, anyone remember the portly hispanic "ex-security guard" that used to come to the bleachers and raise all sorts of tumult? He once went after me, flashing dukes, and we almost got into it. Well, on this day in 1995 he was actually thrown out of the Stadium by his former security brethren for transgressions not noted here.
Here are the useless scorcard tidbits for the day....there was a guy named Coghan on hand all the way from Ireland. Animal was not there (thus Steve sang the Gang Bang) but his brothers were. The hot dog man seemed to have "more rolls in his chin then in his pot." We were discussing the observation that "Red Man" tobacco was "racist" (that always came up) And some guy named "Mike" actually shook a Boston fans hand, which was enough of an oddball sight to make the scorecard. A fan, taking a number of pics, was politely asked, "why are you taking pictures? You're not Japanese."
To the field! An easy Yankee win on this day, 9-1, behind Andy Pettitte, who went 8.2 before Bob Wickman came in for the final out. He upped his mark to 9-8, while Sox starter Zane Smith, that hick looking fu*k, regressed to 7-8 by giving up 5 runs on 7 hits in 2 innings of work. Mike Maddux than came in and pitched to an awesome line - 5 full PERFECT innings, with 4 K's, before Eric Gunderson, Joe Hudson (lol) and good ole Mike Stanton took turns getting clobbered.
On the bat side of things the Yankees mustered 11 hits, including 3 from Sierra (you know, the beer vendor lookalike) and a pair off the bats of O'Neill and Gerald Williams. Williams hit the only Yankee home run, off of Stanton in the 8th. The Yankee lineup read 3B Boggs, CF BW, RF O'Neill, DH Sierra, C Leyritz, SS Velarde, 1B Mattingly (now reduced to batting behind Velarde), LF G Williams, and 2B "Jughead" Kelly.
For the Sox, they squibbed out 7 hits, including 2 each from ET McGee (including a triple) and Tim Naehring. The Sox offered up RF McGee, SS Valentin, 1B Vaughn, DH Canseco, 3B Naehring, LF Greenwell, C Haselman, CF Tinsley, and 2B Alicea. If you stuck around long enough you would have had the privelage of seeing Matt Stairs pinch-hit.
For the profile lets go with Mr. Joe Hudson. A piddling middle reliever who only stuck around from 95-98. His stats are funny in parts. 102 games (all in relief) - In 127 innings he was tagged for 151 hits, and he walked more than K'd besides (73-62). Its a wonder he escaped with only a 4.82 ERA. 95 was his rookie campaign, so we can say we saw the start of this awesome showing, and he appeared in 39 games for Boston, the most he ever showed up for in a year. In 98 he pitched all of one game for the Brew Crew, was torched, and that was it for him. Born in 1970, the Philadelphia native and 27th round draft pick in 1992 was a product of West Virgina U, a school that also bought us the infamous Scott Seabol. My gosh, what was in the water there! His baseballreference.com page, as of 11/15/2010, has a sickly 1,403 views. I mean, does anyone care for this man at all?? Very happy to have seen Mr. Hudson in his prime.
As for the 9th, a whopping 47,719 were on hand to see the game played in 2:49, and your umpires on hand were the veritable Dan Morrison, Al Clark, Larry Barnett, and Greg Kosc.
Thanks for reading!
AN ACTUAL JOE HUDSON SIGHTING!
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