April 22nd, 1994 - "Your Daddy's going to jail!"

April 22nd, 1994 - Yankees host the A's
"Ron Darling vs Bob Ojeda!!"

Ah, the good old A's are in town. You know, where we get to yell at fans in A's caps (hey, you dropped an S off that hat!") - lots of joking and gagging on this Friday night, which was noted as the "79th Anniversary of pinstripes."

"You know its a bad night if YOU'RE here" someone was told, in an effort to make them sad. Things were so wild and hectic out there and security was running up so much that the observation was made that we should "put an escalator out here for security to get here quicker."

Not only were we suggesting the architectural addendum of an escalator, we also concluded "they should just put a beer tap right out here while they are at it!"

THE best, and a memory that has lived forever outside of just these scorecards was some troublemaking guy that was there with his wee one. By the end of the night, everyone had had enough of him, and he was corralled and taken out, as his kid sat there bawling. No one came to help...no one had a kind word, Hell, no one even told the little spanker simply to follow his Dad out. No, we chanted, "your Daddy's going to jail! Your daddy's going to jail!"

We were musing that there was an announcement from Bob Sheppard reminding us to act like 'professional fans.' "Hell, if we are professional fans, then pay us!!" was our hearty retort.

Some elderly soul who probably was lucky enough to have seen Miller Huggins make pitching changes now had to put up with all us young upstarts shouting, "Jump, old man!" as he peered down from the loge. Bet that didnt happen in the 30s.

Here is another funny line I remember - someone basically stated that "Don Mattingly is Jesus Christ" and was met with "then I wish Christ would wake up again come April."

As Eddie Layton went into one of his LONG EXTENDED SOLOS someone put on the best ad-man voice and bellowed "Eddie Layton - available for weddings and bar mitzvahs!"

I was at it again, marking down what I thought were milestone times. At 7:20 "Ali's bell dropped." At 7:24 we saw our "first ejection from the bleachers." And at 7:41 Ali did his first boisterous bell clank. The first A's fan did a good job of staying discreet...we did not spot him skulking about until 8:15.

Lots of "celebrities" on hand. Gotta love the lookalikes. I am seeing Seinfeld, Kamala the Ugandan Giant, NY Giant Bart Oates, and Ginger from Gilligan's Island. Speaking of nostalgic TV, we had a nice chorus chant of "We want the Florie Dories!" We also greeted the Tony Orlando Security guy with a rousing version of "Knock 3 times!" We also saw someone who looked "a lot like Patrick Ewing in that Wiz commercial."

There was also a uniformed traffic cop out there, apparently a pretty one at that, and she was serenaded with the old "show us your cones" chant.

In the 5th Terry Steinbach jacked a home run into our neighborhood in right, and a fan made a nifty catch. "Nice catch, you asshole!" was his reward. No word on here wether or not he threw it back (or should I say we FORCED him to throw it back)

Geronimo Berroa was out there in left, and was met with a heap of "GEEERRONNNNIMOO!" hollers. "You even sucked in the movie!" was a line bandied about that made the card.

Not only did I have a "mystery out" on here, I had a "mystery situation." LOL. "A mystery situation." All it looks like on the card is a bunch of crossed out things in the player boxes, so I can shed no light on what the Hell went on out there on the field to prompt this confusion.

Both teams were swatting the ball around, and back then that meant Pope Don Pall was due to saunter out of the Yankee bullpen. "Come on, your holiness!" was yapped as the door opened to usher in his appearance.

In early running for "dumbest heckle of 1994" is the one hollered at a guy who shuffled up in a tie. "Hey, you really tied one on there!"

Here is what appears to be some useless trivia....BB King sang a version of "The Wanderer." When or why, or if this is even true, I dont know, but someone wrote it on here.

This was one of those games. The Yankees pulled one out, 8-6, in just over 3 hours time. That limpwrist Ron Darling started for the A's, and was belted around pretty good much to our appreciation. The A's paraded out a host of journeymen relievers in Carlos Reyes, Ed Nunez, and finally Billy Taylor.

And starting for the Yankees....oh, I had forgotten about this one! BOBBY OJEDA! Holy fu*k, I forgot all about his stint with the Yankees. Well, in my defense it was only 2 games....

He was spanked on this night, hard. 2 1/3 innings on the hill, 7 hits and 3 walks to boot. Holy crap was he spanked in his Yankee career, all 3 innings of it. In a take off of "Ode to Indian" we sang "If you don't win, you're Ojeda!" during the 7th inning stretch, and whenever else it suited our fancy.

Bobby Ojeda vs. Ron Darling in Yankee Stadium..who'd have thunk it?

Who was in front of us in right for the A's? None other than Ruben Sierra. Steinbach was the star of the show for the A's, that fu*k, going 3-4 with that Goddamned home run. Mike Bore-dick also had 3 hits, and Rickey Henderson led off for the A's and had a couple of hits of his own.

For the Yankees Paul O'Neill went 2-3 with 2 runs, 2 RBIs, and a home run off the pretty boy Ron Darling. Mike Stanley also had a couple of hits (as always) and Bernie Williams bopped a home run.

The A's lost despite getting 14 hits off of Yankee pitching, the Yankees simply made their 9 hits count a bit more.

There was a pathetic, embarrassing crowd of 18,754 out there on a cold night (I called the place "The North Pole" in the 'played at' area on the card) and your umpires were none other than Gary Cederstrom, Jim Evans, Derryl Cousins, and Rick Reed.

Thanks for reading!