July 31st, 1993 "Ninth Inning Dramatica!"

July 31st, 1993
First place? I ate a bug!

July 31st, 1993. The Brewers were still in town, bringing down the property values. Yanks went in tied for first base, and as I snuck a mention to before, back then that was a huge deal. Large Marge large. I have a pic in a crumbling photo album from around this time of bearded Captain Bob on the sidewalk outside the bleachers holding up a NY Post back page with Jim Abbott in full motion, and the heading "Hey Abbott! We're In First!" And Captain Bob has his mouth agape as if in the throes of ecstacy, joyfully screaming.....I swear, you dont usually see faces that excited when the World Series is won. And all this newspaper was trumpeting was a freakin' tie for first place in July.

Jimmy Key started for the Yankees, so old punk rocker Pops, an avowed Jimmy Key fan, was probably at the game. We also played a team nicknamed "the Brew Crew" so yes, Pops was probably in attendance and slamming suds. This was a wild one, with the Yankees winning it in the bottom of the 9th, culminating in a bunch of us falling down on top of one another while we hopped around on the seats like pigs on pogos.

I was there with the crew I used to hit the OBI on Long Island with back in the day before id pass out at the bar - - my cronies Joe, John, and Kerry (a dead ringer for Jesus Christ, but thinner) True to form, apparently they were late to this party, and I cheekily noted this on the heading of the scorecard. Upon arrival Joe took a look at a group of ugly girls sitting in 37, made a sour face, and deemed the whole area "Jur-ass-lick Park"

A nosy fan, child cradled in arm, leaned over the loge railing to our left, prompting a "throw us the kid!!!" chant. I was VERY drunk this whole game. This is when a scorecard scan would really enhance the mood, as my writing is all over the place and you can see I was having problems putting words together. Therefore, there are very few funny jokes cause when I was in that sort of condition, it was hard enough to write in the plays yet alone to enunciate a joke to anyone, or remember one hurled my way.

At one point I pointed to some tough guy Italian looking fellow skulking about, and asked aloud "hey, is that Guido Jones?" and Joe replied, "No, thats Fag Bag Meyer." I then ate a bug, which was always a possibility when I was deep into my cups and it didnt look like Id be kissing a girl that day. I would imagine it was a small bug on my shirt, that I plucked off when it was called to my attention, and popped into my mouth. Cause again, being drunk, how was I going to catch a bug?

Somehow over the course of things I found out that Phil Rizzuto hollered NINE "Holy Cows!!" earlier in the week for my birthday game when the Yankees, trailing 8-0, came back to beat the Angels 9-8 in the ninth. I covered this a few days ago, scroll down! I have no idea how that information about Rizzuto's remarks was compiled or attributed, but it made the scorecard cause someone proffered said info.

One lucky fan autographed the scorecard, with the tagline "I gave U chips!" So I guess I was allowing people to whore themselves out on the scorecard in return for giving me free potato chips. This would probably explain the bug as well, as I would imagine chip crumbs all over a drunk would attract bugs bumming a meal.

"Drop dead like Drysdale!!" was hurled to an unlucky fan just minding his own business. Poor Don had died earlier in the month, on July 3rd, and now his legacy in Section 39 was merely as insult fodder.

An "argument about beer" started in the 5th, and was still going on in the 7th. I know this cause "Beer argument still going on" is written in unsteady hand 2 innings after I wrote "Arguing about beer." Knowing the guys I was with, it was probably an argument over who owed the next round. My friend Joe was all excited to hear the infamous "Gang Bang" song, but alas, he was in line for beer when Captain Bob broke it out that day, as rightly or wrongly we convinced him it was his round. Ah, tragic irony.

With as much as I was drinking DURING the games that day, I am amazed at the total lack of mystery outs, especially as I seem to have handled the whole game myself. There were only 3 in this entire game, all while the Yankees were at the dish. I guess as the years went on and there were more characters out there to distract me, the mystery outs flowed like water. Or, considering this is a bleacher column, I should say flowed like beer. Believe me, I will be recounting nights with as many as FIFTEEN or more mystery outs on them.

As for the game, we hit the 9th inning tied at 4. All four of the Yankee runs were notched off of one Rafael Novoa, who I had forgotten ever existed. This was his second, and final, major league season. He was relieved by Mr. Matt Maysey, a Canadian who also had a sterling 2 year career, and was going "aboot" his final campaign in 1993. I mistakenly wrote him in as "Lacy (?)" on the card, so my knowledge of prospects was no means as good as it is today. Either that or I was thinking of a stripper. Finally our old friend Graeme Lloyd sauntered in, completing an all-Australian battery with Dave Nilsson, behind the dish for Milwaukee. I myself liked Lloyd better when he was throwing punches in brawls against the Orioles.

In the 9th Mike "Eddie Munster" Gallego won the game for the good guys, plating Spike Owen with a single off of Doug Henry, in front of 30,140 on a Saturday....night? Day? We used to play a lot of Saturday night games back then. "9th inning dramatica" was the way the ending was described. Very theatric. Not only did a whole bunch of us tumble off the seats, old Ali apparently was ringing the tin the whole inning, trying to end the game and send us off in style.

Mike Stanley drove in 3 runs. He was ALL OVER these early scorecards. Holy shit, was he hitting. Jim Leyritz actually started in right, with Paul O'Neill coming in as a pinch-hitter/replacement later in the game. After Key pitched a solid 7 innings, giving up 2 runs, Bobby Munoz came in and imploded, allowing the Brewers to tie things up at 4 in the 8th, then Paul Assenmacher came in and gave up a hit before Bob Wickman came in to stop the bleeding. Wickman ended up with the win, bringing his record up to 10-3.

Your umpires were once again Dale Ford, Larry Young, Chuck Meriwether, and Rich Garcia.

Thanks for reading!